Here’s to you babe

I am not the best fiancé.

I forget things, don’t know things and more times than not, I end up grumpy over stupid things. I will grumble and complain and blow things way out of proportion and then cry when he gets upset.

I don’t know his favourite movie (in my defence, it seems to change every time I ask) or his favourite Xbox game or who his celebrity crush is. Sometimes I forget his favourite colour and things he hates to eat. I knew them once … when we first started dating and over time I have forgotten them, much to my horror and guilt.

But when I think about it, the things I know now came about because I forgot the others. The things I know show the time and energy we have put into making us work. It shows that I know him better than he may know himself and in return, I have someone who knows me … and still loves me anyway. The things I know may not mean much to the outside world, but to me, it means that I have found the other half of myself.

I know that he sleeps on the right or facing the door. Which works for me, because I can’t sleep on that side. I know how he takes his coffee and when to offer tea. I know that he can’t lie to save himself, not that he lies often. His jaw clenches and he tries to stop his left eye from twitching. I know that it’s not those things that give him away. It’s the small smirk and minuscule head shake that tells me I have busted him. I also know that he is stubborn and head strong and we clash often but I know that no matter what, he won’t let me go until we are okay again.

I know we don’t ever go to bed mad because it hurts too much. I know that when I am sick he gets mad at the fact that he can’t fix me up instantly. I know the look on his face as the stress leaves it the second he walks through the door and has his arms full of our children. I know that I am so incredibly lucky to have him as a father of our children and as my partner for life.

I know that no matter how old he gets, he will always be the hardest worker I know.

I know he thinks I am beautiful even on my worst days. I know he doesn’t care that I spend the day in my PJs sometimes or that the house doesn’t look perfect. I know he understands that sometimes, the day gets away from me, especially when I am on a safari or moon bouncing with the kids. I know that he understands me even when I think he doesn’t and I know I drive him crazy.

I know that he doesn’t find me as funny as what I think I am and I know that he will always be my biggest critic but only to help me better myself. I know he will always be my biggest supporter no matter what walk of life I choose.

I know the feel of his hands and the warmth of his cuddles. I know the sound of him falling asleep and the twitches he makes. I know that if I move even a little bit and he isn’t completely out cold, he will wrap an arm around me and pull me close, as if to calm me down. My favourite part is that I know the sound of his heart beat as it beats in time with mine.

I know that he appreciates the small things even when I think he doesn’t notice. I know that he would never let anyone say anything bad about me. I know that right as I write this, he is sitting on the couch, dead tired and aching from working long hours but won’t complain. I know he wants to have a nap but won’t, instead he’ll push me to have one. Even though I am not the one who got up at 5am.

I know he is one of the strongest men I know and yet, he’ll still strive to be better. I know that he doesn’t understand to me, he is perfect and there is no better than how he is right now.  I know that I want to fall asleep with him and wake up to him every day for the rest of my life and continue to not keep my promise of making Sunday pancakes.

I know that I don’t show my appreciation enough and for that babes, I am sorry. But you should know by now you mean the world to me and I have never been so proud than be your wife to be.

Lastly, and most importantly, I know that no matter what happens, I will continue to love him more and more each day.

Here’s to you Wil, may we continue to drive each other nuts forever more.

Time goes two quickly

My baby is officially two.


It feels like yesterday that we brought him home from hospital, all squishy and small. So tiny he fit into our arms, on a pillow and little miss still ran the house. Now, he is full of beans, talking, comes up to my hip and loves to torment his sister.

Where did the time go?

We didn’t really do much for his birthday (again much to my sadness) as he was at school and everyone was at work. We did go for a train ride today though on the local steam train. His face … best feeling ever when you see that sort of excitement on your child’s face. He was so excited (because he, like most boys, are obsessed with Thomas the Tank) and had his head out the window most of the time. Last time we went on the train, he was 8 months old, maybe more. He couldn’t walk, couldn’t talk and didn’t know what the hell was happening. Now, my little baby is a big boy and my heart is breaking.

I miss my little squishy who couldn’t tell me no if he didn’t want cuddles and who wasn’t strong enough to push me away. He still gives cuddles don’t get me wrong but I just miss the newborn squishy hugs. And I miss the fact that he relied on me for everything. Now he is little mister independent. Although, there is something that comes from growing up. The personality develops. And boy, does he have personality.

I was incredibly lucky to be blessed with two kids who dominate personality trait is fun. Don’t get me wrong, stubbornness, cheekiness, smart ass-ness and loudness is also there, but the sense of fun … finding the adventure … is stronger. Which is great until you witness your little baby boy kamikazeing off the back of the couch just to see if he can bounce or your daughter deciding that squeezing herself into small spaces is fun until she gets stuck and mum is too big to help. Mischief is also a strong personality trait. It glows in their smiles and twinkles in their eyes. You just know they are up to something. I never know whether to laugh or cry. I am always frightened though … they inherited my smarts after all.

That’s the other thing too now that my baby is older. He and his sister get along better … most days. It means that she has someone to blame and dob on which, coming from an older sister, is the ultimate power. She also has someone to be the first mate on her pirate ship or pilot in her space ship or the alien she must track down. He is also her shadow and biggest fan.

Watching those two trouble makers both scares me and warms my heart. I can hear them now … I can always hear them … pretending to play trains. Give it a minute and the screaming will ensue but right now … it’s a beautiful thing. I don’t like my children growing up. It means that the day they won’t need me draws closer but I also find myself thinking of the future and who they will end up being. If they are happy and maintain the same personality traits in regards to never losing their fun and adventurous streak, I will be happy.

Happy birthday my little man. Stay young, free and seeking adventure for as long as possible and never, ever forget that I am proud of you and love you more than words can say.

1 week down … 519 more weeks to go

We survived.

The first week … well first almost full week. The little ones get Wednesdays off as a “rest day”. They do anything but rest. All I heard all day was “I am bored, can I go back to school?” Ironic as when I take her to school, she begs to come home.

Anyway, I digress. We survived and she loves it. Double win. I am still not quite use to the whole school thing but I do know that I am losing weight from all the walking to and from school. Also, losing my sanity trying to remember everything in the mornings and get the kids ready oh and making sure I don’t look as tired as I feel. I am sure I will get into the routine and it will be a snap. I will, won’t I? Please tell me I will?!

Although I will admit, school hours for kids suck. I remember being at school and wishing time would hurry up and OMG I have been in this stupid school for so long! Let me out! 6 hours is just so long! Even thinking about little miss going off to school for 6 hours was a bit of a shock. I honestly thought it was the longest time ever.

Wrong! 6 hours is nothing when you need to do a shittone of things in 6 hours. Mum, shout out to you. You are amazing for all that you managed to get down while we were at school. Kudos to all mum’s who get shit done.

By the time I walk her to school, and walk my son to day care if it’s his day, then walk back, do the dinner shopping, get home, do the dishes, a load of washing and stare at the ever-growing pile of laundry that needs to be folded that I can’t be bothered doing, stuff food into my mouth and have my millionth cup of coffee, I have to go and pick up the little shits. It’s like the bare minimal of shit I need to get done! How do people get everything done in such a short time that isn’t really that short anyway?!


And 3pm pick up? That’s right around the time I want to curl up and have a mummy nap! Not that you actually get out of there at 3. There’s the line of kids talking about their day. The mums desperately clinging to the other mums in hopes of finally having a decent adult conversation (I am totally one of those mums) and of course, the kids refusing to leave their friends sides even after spending all day with them (but I love them mummy! I don’t want to go home I will miss them!) by the time you leave school it’s pretty much dinner time.

Oh! Speaking of food, does anyone else’s kid comes home and eat everything in sight? If it’s not nailed down to the floor, she’ll eat it. I pack a decent lunch too. Probably over fill her lunch box if I am being honest but still, its fruit and all that healthy stuff. But she comes home and it’s like she has been starved for weeks!

I suppose those arts and crafts preps must take a lot out of them.

The main point is, that she is happy. She is so excited about it and already has some adorable little friends. She is such an intelligent little girl and I know that she will excel at school. She will go far in life and I am just so glad we survived the first week.

I don’t have the heart to tell her it only gets harder from here.

And so it begins …

It finally happened. Oh my God it finally happened!

After an overwhelming large build up over the last … oh say … year! My little baby girl finally went off to school!

It was bitter sweet. Wil and I were so proud of her and excited for her to start the next chapter of her journey. But at the same time, it was so depressing seeing her go. A small part of me realised that that was it. My baby girl wasn’t a baby anymore.

It made me come to the shuddering halt that this is the start of a whole other ball game. This was the start of her growing up. Of her finding her own way and her not needing me anymore. I know that sounds silly. I am in my mid 20s (oh fuck) and I still need my mum. Especially when I am sick or need a good cry. So, I know deep down that she will always need me but the traitorous side of my brain kept yelling “she won’t need you anymore!”

Parenthood is very conflicting. I was excited to see her off and let her start the journey. I was scared that she wouldn’t have a good time. I was so happy that she was so happy to start. I was worried that she’d hate it. I was relieved to have a quiet house … and sad when it was too quiet. I had no idea what to think or what to do other than contain my ‘motherness’ and just let her go.

Which I think is the hardest thing ever.

To have the chance to see your child off and pick them up is something I cherished. She was hyper active form the second she woke up. Although she did admit she was nervous too. “That’s okay bub. It’s normal to be nervous. You’ll be fine.” We reassured her. “I know I will be fine. But I am still nervous.” She replied with all the attitude a 5-year-old could manage.  She got dressed and looked so damn proud in her uniform and with her bag that was almost the same size as her. Talked the whole way to dropping her brother off, talked even more on the way to school and just got louder the closer we got to the school. But she almost seemed as if she knew I was struggling to let her go. Subtle touches and smiles and so many hugs. That’s my girl.

I was thinking about her all day. Wondering if she was okay, if she was having fun. If the other kids understood that she doesn’t mean to yell she just gets super excited and determines that you must hear her. Whether I should fold the pile of washing that is taking over the lounge room or do I read a book on the couch? (I choose to read if case anyone was wondering.) If I packed her enough lunch? If she would remember to ask to go to the toilet and not just bolt out of the room. It was a very emotional and confusing day.

The look on her face though, as she came out the door at pick up, was something that just made my heart melt. She was rosy cheeked and had the biggest smile on her face. She tore out of the room and bolted over to Wil and I, gave us massive hugs and proceeded to tell us everything that happened. I just wanted to cry. With happiness or excitement, she loved it or the fact that the silence was officially broken I don’t know. I was just emotional. She took it in the stride though. Gave me her hat, gave Wil her bag, grabbed both hands and we were off to hear everything that happened. And boy, were we excited to hear everything.

So, I guess although I am still worried about her and how she will go, I am also confident that she will shine through that the little star she is.

And baby girl, if you ever get around to reading this, (I am sorry for embarrassing you and for swearing. Swearing is bad.) I want you to know how proud we are of you. I know it is only day 1 and it’s a novelty still and there is so much more to come but you have just taken it all in your stride and totally owned it. You have shown such maturity and I am in awe of you. Don’t ever forget that you are beautiful, you are strong, we are proud and you are loved more than anything. Keep kicking ass baby girl. You got this.

I will tell you what though, there was a lot of refreshed looking mothers come pick up time.

Change of plans

Yes it is I!

I realise that I haven’t posted in quite a few days and I could give you numerous excuses as to why I haven’t but I won’t. I will take it like a woman and admit that I was wrong in thinking that a post a day was going to be a piece of cake. It’s not and I applaud those who have managed it. You all are magical creatures.

I believe I bite off more than I could chew. I really am a boring person who spends most of my time at home with my babies and there are only so many posts one can write about that. I don’t want to give up on this blog posting but perhaps it is time to become more realistic.

So, I have come up with a solution.

I shall be posting once a week this year. When I get into the groove of it and hopefully keep to this agreement, I shall expand next year and aim for one post a day. I hopefully will also have more of a life outside my house.

It seems like a cop out I am aware. But after all it is my blog and I can do whatever the hell I want with it. I feel like this will be better for all. I can still write but I am not sitting there wondering what I can write about that would be interesting and not a lie and freaking out that readers may not like it. This way I have a whole week to write about something juicy and interesting and I won’t be letting myself down. Also sorry for letting my fans (Hi Mum) down.

So, there you have it. That’s what’s happening. Stay tuned for more and exciting things!

Casey x

Have kids they said … it will be fun, they said

Goddamn little tiny dictating bossy boots.

So far today, there have been 7 temper tantrums, 5 screaming matches, 4 toys destroyed, 3 books ripped, 3 hair pulls, toilet clogged twice, 1 drink bottle, full I might add, pouring all over the carpet and 1 full bladder emptied over the floor and it’s not even 11 am yet!!

You’d think they would warm up to it! Hey. We are stuck inside on this cold miserable rainy day, let’s pace ourselves and all the naughty shit we planned to do (you know they plan it!) so we are entertained all day! But sadly no, my kids are in the frame of mind of ‘go hard or go home’ and ‘it’s not worth it until the vein in mum’s forehead pops’.

I love my kids. I love my kids. I love my kids. I’m ok. Parenthood is amazing and beautiful. I’m ok.

Why don’t they warn you about this shit? They give you some heads up about the terrible twos, not that they give an accurate description, but what about the rest? Where was the heads up about the ‘fucking threes’ ‘fuck off fours’ and the ‘fuck you fives’? And we are only into day 3 of the fuck you fives! Yay! I honestly would love to meet these people who write parenting books. Like, do you have kids? Have you ever spent time around them? There is a fine line between total devotion and completely understanding why some animals eat their young. I am currently balancing on that line as we speak.

Oh joy. We can add 2 pens on the wall and add another 2 temper tantrums to the tally.

Don’t get me wrong. I am sure some of you out there are sitting there going “they are just bored” I am aware thank you Sherlock. I am also aware that it is one of marvellous days again, no one warns about, where your kids just don’t give a shit. I have tried to build a fort but that was wrong. I have set up a colouring area … lasted 5 minutes before there was a yelling match and pencil on the wall and I have put on at least 8 different movies because they couldn’t make up their minds but still wanted a movie. I have read 4 books that have resulted in tears and walking away, I have played shops, dolls, mummies and have taken them for a walk in between the rain falling. For once, I am not just sitting on my arse as some people assume I do all day. But everything I try and engage them in, they don’t want to do yet when asked, what do you want to do, the answer is ‘I don’t know.’

The vial video of the mother hiding in the pantry just to snack and having her kids watch under the door is the best video because it’s true. I haven’t eaten breakfast or anything yet because they have stolen everything I have made myself. Even Weetabix which my kids hate this week. I showered with both staring at me and my eldest asking me why I have lines all over my tummy and why I had a big butt. Well, my darling special sweet lovely little girl, these were the reminders from my body to NEVER DO IT AGAIN! I couldn’t even pee without the door opening and smacking my knees (we are a ridiculously tiny toilet) just so they could tell me what the other did and how loud their fart was. Oh, and if I could colour in with them … right now … no mum we don’t care if you are peeing … now!

In fact, it has taken far longer than expected to actually write this and I have had to break up 2 screaming matches in the last 5 minutes alone. Is it too early for wine?

I love my kids so much. They are honestly the pride and joy of my life. But please, tell me it gets better!

I now have to go and deal with more shit. Literally this time as my 2-year-old thought he was clever trying to change his own butt after taking a poo. Well done buddy although probably could have not smeared it into the carpet. That little add on is just incredibly thoughtful.




Don’t grow up, it’s a trap!

Today was my daughters 5th birthday.

My little baby girl is growing up and to be honest … I don’t know how I feel about it all. I remember the day she came into the world … trust me I remember … before then, I didn’t think I could love someone as much as I loved her.

I know all parents blow their children’s horn and I am going to be one of them and I don’t care. She is amazing. Incredible. Hilarious. The sass that comes out of that child makes it very hard to not laugh. Her imagination and stories are incredible and the fun we have is the best. She drives me crazy but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We didn’t have a party this year much to my upset. I love throwing the kids parties even though it stresses me out. It’s a good feeling to see the excitement in their eyes when they see everything and everyone …  and any excuse to shop for party related things is always a bonus. So instead of throwing her an awesome pink/princess/Disney princess/pig//Halloween/rock and roll/mermaid/ whatever the hell she wanted that week themed party, we took her out for the day and let her pick what she wanted to do.  She chose lunch, movies then shopping. Totally okay with that plan and completely not expected.

The movie she picked was Moana, the new Disney movie. My God I could write a whole post on how amazing and beautiful that movie was but I’ll condense it and say it was just incredible and you should go and see it if you haven’t. Lunch was a Wendy’s hotdog, again totally okay with that pick and then the toy shop. Well, we thought she would be in there forever but BAM! Went in, saw what she wanted and that was it. Took us by surprise but yay! There is nothing worse than spending forever in a toyshop when your child wants everything and throws a mega tanty when they don’t get everything. She even used her birthday money from the great grandparents and thought she was such a big girl (cue crying as she really is growing up)

We then took her to the local arcade type place and there was the look of excitement I had missed out on without the party. She thought it was awesome. We played as many games as our coins would let us and if she bounced any higher in excitement, we would have lost her. She even almost beat Wil in a game and boy did she think she was the bee knees. With all her tickets, she could have picked any cool like temp tattoos, princess tiara, stickers or the abundance of lollies they had on show. Not my child. No way, they weren’t cool enough for Miss I am now 5 and a big girl.

My child picked vampire teeth.

I must admit I was a little shocked and completely proud. No DNA testing required, she is mine.  The best thing about these teeth, in her mind, was that they scared her brother once she brought them out after cake. Poor little man.

So, all in all, a great day. It almost made me realise that it’s okay if she grows up, as much as I hate to admit it. As most parents would admit, they never want their babies to grow up. It’s cruel and heartbreaking watching your babies grow as they get just a little bit closer to not needing you anymore. But today, today was amazing because my daughter is old enough to understand just that little bit more, stay still just long enough to watch a movie she adored and play bigger games that kept her laughing and smiling and cheering for ages. I am sad that she is 5, but I am also proud of the little lady she is growing up to be. At the same time, every time she wishes she was older, my heart shrivels a little. You don’t want to grow up baby girl, it’s nothing but a trap of taxes, work and boring conversations with people you hate. Stay young, stay free and please stay just the way you are.

And the home-made fairy garden cake, I must admit, was bloody amazing and made by yours truly with no help from Pinterest. Take that you overachieving making-life-difficult-for-the-normal-non-talented-mums people.

Finally…something I give a sheet about

Bed time is my favourite part of the day.

Not only has it been a few hours since the kids have fallen asleep (did you think I was talking about their bedtime?) and the house is finally quiet but there is something so amazing having the ability to just lie down and know you won’t get jumped on or that you don’t have to do anything for the next 8 hours. It is my favourite because it means having pillow talk with my fiancé.

I don’t mean pillow talk as a code for anything fun (come on guys we have 2 kids) I mean pillow talk as the random conversations you have with your significant other that are deeper, longer and weirder than your usual conversations. Wil and I have solved many problems this way. We have also planned things, cancelled things and agreed to disagreed on others. I annoy the crap out of him when it comes ot bed time. Cold feet on every part of his body I can reach, tickles in annoying places, breathing down the back of his neck (which he can’t stand) anything and everything that annoys him I will as soon as we hit the pillow. Drives him crazy. But the one thing we do that I love the most is…

We never to go to sleep angry.

It’s an unwritten rule in our relationship. Always has been and probably always will be. I have only ever broken that twice and it was warranted but very uncomfortable. Bedtime is sacred as strange as that sounds and again I am not talking about the kids although that is a glorious time of day. Do you get what I mean though?

It’s been a long day. Kids are crazy, he is working and you are stressed…it all melts away the second you slid in bed together. You turn to face each other and sigh with sleepy smile on your lips. And then you begin to talk. All the things you forgot to say or didn’t know how to say before come out. You spill your darkest secrets and deepest thoughts when you are surrounded by night, blankets and the one you love. It’s therapeutic…freeing… the way it all slips away and you end the conversation or vent with a tight cuddle.  The only thing that could and does ruin the mood is a methane hug …even then it results in a fit of giggles.

It’s not really like how Hollywood portrays it, at least not for us. We both look like shit (sorry babe) half eyed and sleepy as hell. The only thing they got right is the sleepy smile that stays on your lips because its bed time and you’re okay. We spoon or cuddle for only a little while…I feel claustrophobic and we sleep on opposite sides of the bed. He faces the door and I face the wall. But we feel lighter and freer and that’s all that matters. That and the cheeky butt tap as we say goodnight.

It’s warm and cosy, safe and relaxing, familiar and loving all wrapped up in a doona and hidden away from the world.

It’s my happy place. …for about 45 minutes until the kids wake up.

This shit stinks

Kids are feral.

Yeah, I said it. You were all thinking it.

Why is there never any warning about it? You don’t read or hear ‘kids are like snails…they will leave a trail of mucus and snot everywhere they go’ in the baby books. It would have been a nice little heads up…I would have brought stocks in baby wipes and Chux. Dettol as well because God knows we need it to disinfect our house. I only ever thought that Dettol was used on cuts. Whenever I hurt myself, mum would hoist me up on the bench and clean my scrapes and bumps and bam I was fine and off I’d run onto the next gutter to trip up or side walk to leave my knee skin on. Then I had kids and boy did that open up a world of new uses.

 I use it to mop the floor, clean up the scrapes of childhood, to clean the counters (although I have been using vinegar and bi carb lately) to scrub the bathroom and to wipe down the kid’s beds. If I could get away from have Dettol air fresheners I would. Not because I like the smell but because it would hopefully kill the germs that come from having kids. But I am wandering off topic.

Let me put it in perspective for you just how gross they can be.  Last night was spent elbow deep in shitty toilet water trying to unclog my toilet for the 3RD TIME THIS WEEK because my darling 4 year old shits like a grown man after a weekend filled with booze and bad kebabs. Yep, you read that right.

Last night my darling daughter did a poo. Yay. Another thing that parents get excited about…although not so much when they are 4 but at least it wasn’t in her knickers. She poops and starts yelling out so as any parent would do,  I go in and make sure she is okay and find, to my absolute horror, she has blocked the toilet…did I mention that it’s the 3RD TIME THIS WEEK?!!

My God child you don’t need to use the whole roll! You have a tiny butt! There is no need! Wil wasn’t any help…he was too busy laughing his arse off at the whole situation. Anyway, so I calm her down and tell her it’s okay, I will fix it. The water is starting to go down anyway. A few hours later, after putting them to sleep and arguing back and forth on why sleep is a beautiful thing, I go back into the toilet and BAM it’s still full of paper and the biggest crap to ever come out of a 4 year old.

I go and ask Wil what the hell should I do about it and his solution? A coat hanger. A freaking coat hanger to unplug the toilet as we don’t own a plunger. I don’t think I have ever been so disgusted in my life and I have been shat and vomited on at the same time.  Not how I pictured my Thursday night. Good news though, the toilet is fine. Me on the other hand, I feel the need to drown myself in Dettol and booze. I had to literally push down the shit of my child. How was your night?

To further prove my point, my son today proved himself a man by blowing his nose on his t-shirt then showing me how clever he was….he takes after his father that one.

Still don’t believe how gross they are?  Well today’s adventures including repeatedly telling my daughter to remove her hands from her butt….and then her mouth, telling my son that his willy wasn’t a plaything every time I changed his butt, feeling threatened and weirded out at the fact that my son refuses to break eye contact with me when he is pooping then getting said poop up my nails when changing him and to top it all off I told my daughter not once, not twice but 3 TIMES to not pick her nose and wipe it on her brothers head. My son is the clever one…he eats the evidence of his nose pickings. I also picked a tiny teddy out of my son’s toes and talked my daughter out of sticking one up her nose. And that’s just today. I won’t scar you with the horrors of other days.

Let it be known that this, new parents, is a warning. Kids are feral, gross, nasty, disgusting and annoying.  Buy bulk wipes, hand sanitisers and Dettol. And be prepared to spend many nights literally shovelling, or in my case coat hanging, shit.

‘If I could turn back time’

What the hell happened to music?

I am sitting outside, enjoying the sunshine and the neighbours are playing some god-awful rap crap that is all about sucking down hoes. Really? What does that even mean? Are hoes another code word for jelly shots?

Let me be clear, I am not judging my neighbours (much) about the music I am judging the music itself. Don’t get me wrong, each to their own and all that jazz. I mean, my iPod is filled with random pieces of music that Wil loves teasing me about (not that he can talk). I have everything from Elton John to Disturbed and everything in between. Billie Holiday, Frank Sinatra, Elvis, Bring Me the Horizon, Linkin Park (oh yeah I still have them), Drop Kick Murphys… I even have Nickelback…not that I should admit that publicly but ah well I rather like a couple of the songs. I have Bob Marley and OutKast and Gwen Stephani and even Bob Segar. I also have Tracy Chapman, Van Morrison and pretty much at least 1 song from every decent 80’s rock band.

I went through ITunes this morning as I never get a chance to listen to much radio, to see what’s new and if there was anything I could add to my vast collection of randomness. Nothing. Not a single song on there that I liked. And I agree, that is just my opinion but it got me wondering…what happened to music?

We have had eras of jazz and classical and rap and reggae and rock and grunge and music that just sweeps you up and takes you on a journey through all the senses. There hasn’t been a past era that hasn’t influenced music of the next generation. Now we are at an age where every bloody song sounds the same. It’s all about sex and not even subtly. You look back through the last 50 years and sure, sex, drugs and rock and roll are there too but it’s subtle. It’s not having the singer blatantly say “I wanna fuck a hoe. Imma fuck this hoe then fuck her friend.” Cool bro you do what you need to do. Hey, by all means blast it, rock out each to their own but do you really want your kids listening to music all day every day that tells them to ‘fuck a bitch cause all bitches are hoes and if they aint down to fuck then shoot em’? That is a great message.

My childhood was filled with Tracy Chapman and Simple Minds. I remember taking a CD of Hootie and the Blowfish to school when I was in year 3 and my classmates looking at me like I was strange but still had fun listening and dancing to it. My teacher looked like Christmas came early…probably because it meant she could listen to something other than educational music. My dad even tricked me for a good 8 years by telling me he was in the band Australian Crawl. I believed him right up until I was old enough to google the band members and I grew up in the 90’s. My mum and I would go for drives to places I don’t remember and we’d blast Tracy Chapman and No Doubt and Alannis Morrison and I thought it was amazing. Talking Heads or Joe Crocker was Dad’s weapon of choice and there is nothing quite like seeing a grown man rock out so hard he almost pulls out his back.

My first boyfriend (who had a car) and I would go camping and the soundtrack to those drives was Aerosmith and Red Hot Chilli Peppers. I’d visit my friends back home in Noosa and it would be anything from Elton John to Disturbed.

Even now, the car is filled with ACDC, Aerosmith, KISS and the like. My 4 year old daughter’s favourite song (luckily) isn’t Let It Go, it’s ‘I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night’ by KISS. She learnt to head bang to rock before she could walk. I think my job here is done. You are welcome little miss.

Old school music is like coming home after a really crap day. The warmth and soulfulness of it all it everything better. I went through stages of grunge and punk and heavy metal (that made my parents worry) but every time I hear Simple Minds or Talking Heads I am transported back to days of dancing around the lounge room or laughing my ass off as my mum and dad danced in the kitchen showing off their fantastic 80’s moves and singing into whatever they had in hand. I still can’t hear Talking Heads without seeing my dad ‘jiving’ and pelvic thrusting. I can’t listen to Joe Crocker’s drawl without seeing dad wiggling his eyebrows at mum and giving her a cheeky pat on the ass.

My point is, what happened? It’s all club music, house music or fucking bitches. It feels like the soul of music is gone. These kids are going to hear a song when they are older and get transported back to a time where people are Dabbing, Hotline Bling, Stanky Leg and Whip/ Nae Nae. What a great legacy we are leaving behind instead of having a wooden spoon as a microphone and sliding through the kitchen before ending in a pelvic thrust.

Old school fashions are coming back, why can’t old school music?