What do stay at home mums do all day?

This is one of the worst questions out there. Are you serious? What do they do all day? They keep the bloody kids alive for starters!

I am a stay at home mum. For that, I am very grateful. It means that I am home to watch my babies grow and get to see all the special moments. It also means that suddenly I am a target for every gossiping, self-entitled wanker.

Where is this coming from I hear you ask? Society apparently. So, I was at the shops the other day (I have been stewing on this for a while) after dropping moo off to school, getting dinner and what not and suddenly I am confronted by the vicious silver tongue of society’s arsehole. Now, I have been called many things in my life. It happens when you refuse to format to society’s expectations and when your “resting bitch face” is just your face. But never, and I mean never ever, have I been called a “vampire of society.” Yep, you read that right. This … woman … was very loudly declaring in a very public place full of mum with little ones or pregnant that “Stay at home mums are the vampires of society. Sucking up time space and good people’s money while sitting on their arse getting fat and opening their legs to anyone willing.”


Words cannot even begin to describe the rage. Creative, I’ll give her that but she was lucky I didn’t punch her. Who says that?

Okay dickhead let’s look at the stats. According to abs.gov.au in 2003, 91% of families with children under 14 year old had the father working. Of that 91% of fathers who worked, 84% were employed full time.

So if we use logical, which I strongly don’t think you have, that means only 9% of fathers don’t work. So we break down the 9% into different reasons – didn’t want to work, wanted to work but not actively looking, permanently unable to work and wanted to work/looking for work but unable to start within 4 weeks.

Fun fact though: it’s 91% against 63%. That means that 63% of families also have their mother working. It’s also fun to know that In 2004–05, 1.6 million fathers were employed and 1.3 million mums all who had children under 15 within both couple families and single parents. Doesn’t quite sound like a fat arsed vampire spreading her legs for everyone huh?

Oh and let’s not forget that stay at home dad’s, which I bet you have an opinion on, has steadily risen by about 13% each year. Which means the mum is working … just in case that wasn’t clear.

And then of course if your firmly in the place of “Well just send the kids to care then” argument, let’s look at those stats.

The average cost PER DAY in Australia for childcare is anywhere from $70 to $200 PER DAY. A nanny is $17 – $35 AN HOUR, family day care is $6 – $17 AN HOUR and a baby sitter is $15 to $35 AN HOUR. So in order to actually make money, you wanna be on good money (like $25+ an hour) which ironically, is quite hard to do considering that 75% of parents have a school aged children. For those lucky bastards who don’t have to do a school, it means you have to start work after 9 AM and finish before 3PM. Oh and if your child is sick you can’t work or if you get a call from the school you have to drop everything and go straight away and then of course there is the sports and dances and stalls and school activities that you kinda have to go to cause, you know, your partner works full time and possible overtime.

It’s all well and good for you to stand there and sprout bullshit but until you actually go out there and try and find something close to home, that pays great and has super flexible hours and leaves you with enough energy to actual parent when they get home and functional until bed time – shut up.

The options for such unicorn like jobs are the coffee industry which pays shit, waitressing which again pays shit, fast food services which are just shit all round from what I can gather or you can stay at home and raise your children and save money on childcare or whatever and actually see your children grow up.

Because you know what? Who gives a flying fuck what society thinks? Stay at home mums were all the rage not even 30 years ago. It was “a woman’s job”. Now, we are lazy, money hungry vampires of society because we would rather raise our kids’ right.

Most stay at home mums I know either work close to home or have their own businesses allowing them to work from home. I am one of them. It’s not the grand illusion that apparently some people think it is.

You are a referee between your children, you are a nurse, a cook (at times you even feel like a gourmet chef with how picky they are), you’re a personal washer and drier and dishwasher and even then it never ends. You keep the house clean, make sure the shopping is done, bills are paid and everyone has everything they need even when it ends up with you missing out. Don’t tell me stay at home mum’s sit on their arse all day. Ain’t no stay at home mum got time for that.

So to the “lovely” opinioned woman making all of the stay at home mums in the shop centre feel like shit, I only have a few words of advice.

Keep your uneducated, idiotic opinions to yourself and save your breath.

Because all you are doing is lowering everyone’s IQ points every time you open your mouth.


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