My friend and I have known each other for 9 years. We are mums with kids close in age and as close as sisters.
For the first few years of our friendship, we would butt heads. We are both incredible stubborn and head strong and very vocal about anything that pisses us off…even if it was each other. Our rows were legendary but we were so close within our friendship that we would always make up and were stronger than before…even if the row caused months of silence between us. It’s now a fantastic topic to laugh about.
We use to live quite close, together at one point, before her husband and she moved a good hour away. Since we saw less and less of each other due to kids, work and general everyday life, we decided a few months ago that we are going to take a day every fortnight that will just be us. No kids, no ‘MUMMMMMMMMMM’ …nothing but coffee, treats and peaceful uninterrupted conversations about everything and anything. Like the old days.
So far it has worked out well. We talk about the past and what we want for the future and how ratty our children are. It’s almost like a competition on just how bad the kids have been throughout the fortnight since last catch up. It is also very cathartic to know that you’re not only one going through 4 year old attitude and having no one listening to you. It’s the best to have a hit talk session with your bestie.
Today though…what were we thinking?
School holidays are on. Our young ones are in day-care but our eldest girls aren’t so we thought it would be an awesome opportunity to have a girl’s day at my house with our babies. We even got to reminiscing back in the day when we only had one each and would have play dates. It will be fine, we said. So much fun, we said.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Well, both girls were very excited to play with each other. Mine was so excited in fact that she pretty much was vibrating as she was waiting and as soon as they walked through the door, they were off on adventures within their imaginations. My friend and I smiled in that ‘aww aren’t they cute?’ way mum’s do and proceeded to start the day of too much coffee and unloading. Perfect, we thought.
It lasted a whole of an hour.
We managed to get an hour of peace before it was on. The arguing and yelling and both girls trying to be the boss. We should have known better. They are exactly like us. It went from the typical things like ‘she’s doing thissssss’ and ‘she’s doing thattttt’ and ‘she’s not sharingggggg’ you know exactly what tone they were using too. But then it got a little worse and it resulted in tears from both.
They got over it, apologised and like most kids who have a spat, it got better and they were the best of friends again. To the point where when they were leaving they were trying to con having dinner and sleep overs together. We were happy they were happy and life went on.
But as nice as it was to see our babies play together, it also took it away from what the day was supposed to be about. Us. It’s the time we use to hash out our concerns, brain storm art and writing ideas and just generally talk shit. Normally the day flies by and I am left relaxed. Today, I was left tired and drained. It wasn’t us time, it was just two mum’s sharing the amplified chaos of motherhood. We messaged each other laughing at how tired we were and how crazy it was. It was a good day, but now we know better. We also realised just how alike our children are in both stubbornness and sass. It was like looking in the mirror and seeing ourselves in smaller forms. We didn’t know whether or not to laugh or to cry.
It is going to be very interesting to see how these girls of ours grow up and handle the teenage years. If they are anything like us, we are in a world of trouble. We did learn one important thing though…
Kids should not be invited to mummy and bestie time.