We went shopping for little miss’s school uniform today.

Yep my little baby girl is off to Prep in 24 days. I don’t know what to feel. I am excited that she is excited and I know she will have a fantastic time. But I am also depressed that she has grown up.

She is my first born and my little girl. She’s a pain in my ass but she is mine and I don’t want to give her up. I am use to her being around all the time (sometimes too much) I don’t know how I will handle her being at big girl school.

Going to her new primary school for orientation days (there were 3) was a daunting experience. It was like the first day of school for me all over again. I could just feel everyone’s eyes on me. I was the youngest one and obviously missed the memo about dressing up. There was a fair few ‘mothers groups’ already who I think had older kids already at the school. I was probably paranoid and imagining the whole thing but still, the whole experience was awkward and I really hope I don’t have to do it again.  But it started the ball rolling for it all becoming real.

Handing in her enrolment forms made me a little teary.

Picking out a drink bottle and lunch box was sad but nothing ground breaking.

But uniform shopping….whole other ball game my friends.

Shit’s all turned real now.

Just imagining the small little bundle of blood covered screaming baby they placed on your chest after a gruelling labour in a proper little girls primary school dress uniform hurts! My poor heart! I can’t even. I want to ball her up in her icky and hide her away from the world forever. Force her to stay…she just gave me attitude…never mind. She can go whenever the school is open now.

Kidding…kind of.

Small part of me is also excited in the fact that she will be out of the house for 5 days a week…purely out of excitement for her…I swear. Another small part of me is a little worried about her being bullied or teased and having her whole school experience ruined by some cruel words from douchebag children. I shouldn’t really worry about that. She is an awesome kid with a bubbly personality and while her attitude stresses me out on most days, I think it will be an asset to her through her schooling career. At least I hope that is the case. Mainly, I am just excited that she is off on her next big adventure in the world and I can’t help but be incredibly proud of her.

I just want her to be happy and stay the fun loving, stubborn, cheeky asshole that she is right now. Don’t grow up kids! It’s a trap! Someone needs to invent a time turner or a freeze ray that parents can use to stop their babies growing up. even a time machine that just slows down time would be nice!

Excuse me while I go and beg Wil for another baby. My ones are too old now. And have a wine…or four.

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